whisper softly i will always feel this empty [28 Dec 2004|01:47am] [ mood | empty ] fucking blah!!!!!

1 whisper_whisper softly WOW it has been FORVER! [26 Dec 2004|06:16am] [ mood | depressed ] wow i haven't been on here in forever.... is anyone ever reading this... if so let me know so i can know whether or not to bother with this again......

3 whispers_whisper softly long time no write [14 Jun 2004|09:06am] [ mood | numb ] hey my lovelys, i hope all of you are doing good. its been a long time since i have been online but im finally back on. i just got home yesterday from a week vacation. i went to the beach house up in pajaro dunes( which is near santa cruz and watsonville). the trip was fun i guess, the only thing that was good was the fact that my aunt got married and i got to see my family but other than that the trip was a drag. i have had so much on my mind and all i do is think and it is really bringing me down because i am so lost. i think about things so much that i get sick and it hurts so much. To make things worse, on the drive home, i saw the devil on the freeway and he looked me right in the fucking eyes and i dont think he even remembered who i was or what he had done to me. i hate him and i hope he fucking rots in hell. yeah so seeing him made me really upset but i have been trying not to let it get to me. anyways on a happier note........... well i might be leaving again today to go to san jose and the santa cruz mountains and i wont be back until next monday. theres nothing like a short visit home right? its one of those ...hi bye things. im glad school is over even though i wasnt there for the last week but it is nice to know that i can spend time focusing some more on the things i need dont need to think about anymore.......haha....should what im saying seem confusing....cause if so then i have a problem because it makes perfect sense to me.......well anyways a lot has happened over the past week and a half but it is nothing that i feel like talking about or writing about in this online journal........its weird though because just when you think that things a perfect and nothing could go wrong and that things will never change....they do.....people do.....i dont know, its a vicious cycle that i cant seem to be free of...whatever.....i just wish i had the ability to stop caring but that will never happen..so for now i will just have to continue waiting..and waiting...and waiting....and what sucks is that there is no telling how long the wait will last.

1 whisper_whisper softly some mo beside [20 Apr 2004|03:07pm] [ mood | calm ] m is for masturbate a is for after i watch porn t is for to relieve myself t is for thats better h is for happy camper e is for eeaohhohaohaoh w is for wow that was awesome matthew feel like al capone h is for hot mama e is for every boys dream a is for anal bleeder t is for touch me again h is for hemorrhoid cream e is for eases itch r is for ready to get it on heather call me on the phone one from kari to dan...... d is for dangerously sexy a is for a funny guy n is for naughty dan dont trip on that stone SORRY I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE THAT RHYMES SO THEY GOT REALLY STUPID!! ILL THINK OF MORE.............

1 whisper_whisper softly i hate this [19 Apr 2004|10:03am] [ mood | frustrated ] AHHHHH>>>I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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